I've been hooked to Hot Yoga lately - I love it, though at the same time I dread it. Imagine being in a heated room for 90 minutes (which feels like forever), streeeeetching your tissues beyond your perceived limits, imitating animal after animal (dog, cat, cow, cobra, eagle... yes, sometimes you feel like you're a living version of "The Kids' Favorite Vocab Building Series - Pets and Wild Animals"), and feeling the sweat running into your eyes and your nose. That doesn't sound so much fun, does it?

As Rene (my Hot Yoga instructor) puts it, this is a class about suffering. And endurance.

Most of the time during class, I'm just yearning for a moment of child's pose (i.e. kneel and bow forward to rest the forehead on the floor). Although we're supposed to be 120% focused during the class, sometimes I would find myself yelling to Rene desperately (in my mind, of course), "when are you switching off the lights?!!!" (Switching off the lights signals the end of the class, when we finally proceed to Savasana - the corpse pose - where you just lie down there totally relaxed. Gotta love those figurative names!)

Seriously, sometimes I feel like I'm going to pass out. I see stars (they say it's normal...), and I can feel that I'm really pushing my limits, trying to lengthen my spine, twist my body in some weird postures, or get my head to touch my toes. It does make me want to throw the towel and shout "why are you not switching off those damn lights yet? I'm never coming back."

But, once in a (long) while, Rene would open the studio door a little bit, and as soon as he does that, you can feel the flow of the cool, fresh air coming into the room, and that - I'm not kidding - is the best feeling EVER. It's almost like finding hope again, as if I have rediscovered my energy, to push a little further, a little harder. And being able to do that, being able to push however little more than what I thought was my limit, is amazing.

And it's at those moments that all the zen sayings are starting to make sense: "Battle your inner weakness. Find Focus. Feel your presence. Feel your strength." "It's about suffering. And endurance. Then you feel liberated." Yes, Rene, I get it! I am able to mind less about the external world, and focus completely on myself, my energy within. Everything else - be it lululemon pants, louboutin shoes, company restructure, or finding the dress for the coming INSEAD ball - don't seem to matter anymore.

That is, until the class is over.

Okay. So I need to work on my zen-ness... but this is still some remarkable achievement I've made here. I mean, my old self would probably find the best part of yoga being shopping for yoga clothes, and consider the yoga practice "done" after the ideal outfits are found (a la Rebecca Bloomwood in the shopaholic books). The fact that I keep coming back, class after class - sometimes even in less than ideal outfits - and am able to find occasional, momentary peace of mind in between stretches and poses, makes me very proud. Very proud indeed.

Yoga is not just a workout - it's about working on yourself. (Another zen saying. Ohm.)

And now if only I can be persistent...

星加坡地方很小，可以做的事不多。可能連星加坡人也知道自己悶吧，三不五時便會搞一些懶有噱頭的活動。印象中過去兩三個月便有：

• Botanical Garden露天歌劇表演連野餐（我也有去，悠閒地過了一個傍晚，去完有「星加坡都幾好」的感覺）
• Singapore River Festival（印象中就是有些佈滿燈飾的不同造型的小船在星加坡河上漂來漂去，感覺蠻無聊的）
• 還有上個星期的國慶表演National Day Parade（在星加坡人眼中是超大事一件，連綵排也要買票或在附近的酒店開間房來看）。

而這個星期，則有在我家附近的Satay by the Bay活動。



Satay是我和SB都喜愛的本地食物（誰不愛沙爹？），幾乎每次去Hawker Center必叫，更是我們用來衡量本地物價的貨幣單位（見例一*）。我們都認為Satay by the Bay這名字夾硬得來又幾好笑，而且看看簡介，吃沙爹之餘還有film screening，於是決定今晚會去試試。

試完再回來報告。

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*例一：
小態：「不如搭的士番屋企啦。」
SB：「呢度搭的士番屋企要差唔多十蚊，等於十五串satay喇！不如搭地鐵啦。」
小態：「好啦。」
（好爛的例子啊！）